“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

9.29.2015

where the sky falls in

the roof is just a frame for the holes that keep me cold in winter
hot in summer,
wet when drunk.
i prop the doors against the spaces that keep her out
but she shows up anyway and shouts through the cracks.

MY HOUSE my solitude my drunkenness my life.

it takes two 30 packs to lay me down to sleep
chased with xanax and hatred
and she thinks i care, just because she does
but i never have
never will never will
never will.

i shout back and call her names that hurt her heart, but not hard enough,
until she goes and lays down under her own damn sky.

i lay lonely under mine, just the way i like it,
and ain't nothing but darkness up there
nothing but nothing 
and jesus god i pray for even more of the same;
it can't get dark enough.

even when it scares me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

writing in the opposite gender.

perfect timing for this bit of truth.
i've been trying to see things from his side for a long time.

30 comments:

  1. I admire the stark darkness of the sky and I really enjoyed the thoughts from his point of view ~ The voice is almost petulant & angry with the intrusion when all he wants is just to be alone ~
    We girls can be pretty stubborn ~

    Thanks for linking up with D'verse ~

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    Replies
    1. petulant and angry is perfect. he is.

      thank you.

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  2. first, i love the title... and i think you did a perfect job with the prompt, i don't hear your voice, i hear his. and Grace got it just right, petulant and angry and stubborn, and that ending, that's the heart breaker, that's the part that makes us want to say why. i really love it.

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    Replies
    1. thank you. it breaks my heart, and that's the truth.

      and this was hard. i needed that.

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  3. You really managed to 'ace' the prompt. I can feel the truth in this poem, which makes it a good poem to me. Sad to me that both he and she are probably very lonely in this poem. It seems that alcohol is influencing him so much that he doesn't care about much but his next cold one! Thanks for taking part.

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    1. he is living on alcohol time.

      and thank you!

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    2. Alcohol greatly influences a person's demeanor and the words that they throw about, uncaring, insensitive, in pain...you caught this voice so well...his voice. Very cleverly done.

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    3. thank you so much. alcohol can take over a person's soul, as it has his. it's a heartbreaker.

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  4. "dark" in many ways. such a sad tale. well done.

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    1. thank you. it is a sad tale, and i was a bit afraid to tell even this bit, even vaguely.

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  5. This is so real and honest that it hurts my heart. Very well written

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    1. i have been searching for a way to write about this, about how it must feel to him. i know how it feels to me, his sister, but my story has grown boring. kelly's prompt was perfect.

      thank you so much.

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  6. Isn't this a sad truth in many relationships.. The only thing remaining is how to hurt each other.. Maybe it's the same for both.. And the day they are truly apart they will miss it,, I think I have seen this happen, and I can relate to it.

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    1. it's a truth in all kinds of relationships, and i am pleased that it's hard to tell the relationship between these two people. in real life, it's brother and sister - in this poem, it goes any which way. the end result is much the same.

      thank you for stopping by.

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  7. I love this - you have executed the prompt so well with the depiction of both genders.. I sometimes feel like there isn't much difference between the two.. when it comes to emotion. Beautifully penned.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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    Replies
    1. oh. there's not much difference, especially when it comes to addiction. you are right.

      thank you for your kind words.

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  8. Darkness..
    pRice
    heArt
    neVer
    tenDeReD
    chiLd's
    garDen
    Love
    riches
    without
    Love..
    lost..
    just
    lost...

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  9. i believe male or female addiction sounds the same in many ways. i recently dealt with a female friend and her anger when out of control on drugs & alcohol. she is spiteful & vicious & a liar. Xanax and hatred ~ so good. This free verse does sound & feel decisively masculine. I'm sorry for his plight as i am my friend's. the addiction has a stronger pull than offered love.

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    1. i just said that - that addiction is not much different whether you are male or female. love is nothing to people in its grasp. it's hard, hard, hard to be on the other side, and after years of abuse you finally stop. you walk away. you still love, but you have to take care of you.

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  10. nailed it. sad, lonely, angry and bitter but unwilling/unable to change a thing.

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    1. it feels weird to say thank to such a thing, but thank you. i've been living through it for a long time, it's grown worse, and well . . . it in truth has stopped my writing, taken all my energy. watching someone you love go through this is hard. i am glad for this prompt, glad it pushed me to say something out loud, glad it made me see his anger as well as mine.

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  11. Wow, you really stirred up some emotions for we readers, arriving fresh-faced & not quite prepared for the darkness & honesty of this poetic slice. You wore the soul of him, crawled under his skin & into his head; marvelous job with it. Addictive problems in all families are like trying to catch greased swine; they keep wriggling out & crapping on the rug.

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    1. I've been trying to find my way under his skin for a long time - thank you so much. And yes indeed re: your description of addiction problems. Perfect. Perfect.

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    2. Very sad write. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Addicts are selfish and cruel and see no view but their own. Until he realizes and wants help, it's gonna be the same old, same old. I feel badly for those who love someone have to watch, deal with, be hurt by this state. Thank goodness my sister of the soul finally "got it" and is doing well. I wish the same for your brother and those who love him. Spencer is kanzesakura

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    3. Absolute truth. And also true that he seems to have passed the point of no return. Thank you for recognizing how selfish and cruel addicts are. Not everyone wants help, despite all the PSAs on social media and mass media.

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  12. I had to read this a few times, I had to work through it; what a great piece, worth the time it takes to really think about it.

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    1. thank you. i write pretty vaguely - i know - and not always on purpose. this one was on purpose, it, as kelly says, bumps up against the boundary between my story and not my story. xoxo

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