“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

3.23.2013

you forgot to mention you flew

when you said wings
i misunderstood
and looked for birds.

it was cold and i was counting the days to christmas,
buttoning my coat against the wind -
you forgot to mention the wind -
i was watching the birdless sky and memorizing clouds -
there was one that reminded me of you,
a bicycle spinning high above the horizon,
white against gray -
and i almost looked away,
i almost closed my eyes against all that space,
thinking of cookies to be baked and gifts to be bought,
of the patches of ice frosting too many puddles -
you forgot to mention the recent rains -
and i adjusted my gloves and sighed into the morning's emptiness,
when you stumbled into the air and flew.

i was looking for birds.  i misunderstood.

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in response to today's prompt at dverse poetics:
a conversation with someone famous or historical.


33 comments:

  1. WOW. This blows me away. My first read of yours. Excellente! I like the changing refrain, your line work, word choices, sounds, images, feelings evoked. Loved it! Will be looking forward to more.

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  2. quite evocative piece...i am not sure who you are referring to in it, but it is quite evocative...between the rain...and the wings...and flew...we can get distracted as well in all the things we have to do that we miss these things...until too late...

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    1. thank you! i am always a bit vague - it's orville wright. (i forgot to mention . . .)

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  3. I thought I commented, but I am not sure it took, those caption things always trick me up. But I wanted to make sure to tell you how blown away I was with your piece. The changing refrain was great and everything else I said in the first comment I am still hoping appears somehow. Hope to read more of your work. Very impressed.

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    1. oh. blogger comments. i know. thank you again - i was a bit scared to link up. y'all are giving me courage and it is much appreciated.

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  4. I am smiling. Of course you would look for birds, of course. And I love the way that this is filled with sky.

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  5. i'm glad you didn't close the eyes and could see.. love the melody in this and the focus on what's important..

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    1. claudia - thank you. and thank you for such a fun prompt!

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  6. I have to read this aloud and often; stunning.

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  7. With no doubt or shame, I cried.
    Your words made me do it.

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    1. aw man. now your words are making me tear up. in a good way. xoxo

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  8. there you go again, painting beautiful pictures with your words. I read this once, twice and a third time. Then I closed my eyes and saw.

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    1. thank you karen. i like your line - closing your eyes and seeing. smooches!

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  9. Very cool and original. Orville Wright, wow. Truly never be afraid to link up. You're good.

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    1. oh. thank you! i'm feeling braver by the minute. :)

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  10. Thoroughly enjoyed your poem, and style just wonderful a first flight so cool. :)

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    1. many thanks! i'd've loved to've been there.

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  11. ..wow. what a good write ! I was thinking of angels, in particular but of course the Wright Bros make more sense...you really romanticized this..

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    1. thank you - i actually thought of angels while writing this, but they seemed content to just watch over my shoulder and not be a part. :)

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  12. you are so so good. this is one of my favorite places in cyberspace.

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    1. jeane - i am flattered beyond words. seriously. many many thank yous!!

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  13. Oh wow, this is absolutely stunning! This is real poetry, that rare and beautiful thing. I absolutely loved it - heart rising into the throat kind of love; want to take you and shake you and make sure you understand kind of love.

    By the way, I know you said Orville Wright, but I really like how this poem doesn't have to be about a specific person.

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    1. sarah - thank you! thank you! and thank you for liking my vagueness - though i wrote it with orville in mind, i wanted it to be able to stand on its own, away from the prompt, if need be. xoxo

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  14. fantastic. simply, fantastic!!

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  15. beautiful, & with a sense of sadness (?), regret (?)... something, anyway, that made it dear, personal - your poem touched me

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  16. ...and glad you did link up or we wouldn't know another talented & brave person in you... i like your references with birds as i myself always feel connected to 'em though at times i misunderstood why they need to be so deep & unknown behind the forest... i enjoyed your offering... keep 'em coming & nice to meet you... smiles...

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  17. I tried to guess... and I thought it was Saint-Exupery... but I was wrong.

    Do you know, because of you, I bought Wind, Sand and Stars two years ago and it is still sitting on my shelf, unread??
    I must fix that.

    Sigh... such beautiful poetry you write... and live.

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