“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

9.07.2012

one more time again

before i start this day - check that, it's already started.

take 2.  before i move forward even further into this day, before this last bit of ohmygod  heat sweats me and beats me and before i once again choose christmas carols, the colder the better, perhaps sting's winter songs, as the music to move by, to remind me there is cool air coming tomorrow, i say a happy little prayer.  a gratitude for this week.  for the tears-in-my-eyes laughter i found in unexpected places.  for the rip somewhere in the wall that's kept me in for such a long while, fresh air pushing fast into the used up thoughts i have been breathing too long.  inhale, indeed.  inhaaaale.  i talk too much about exhaling, about letting go.  time to talk about moving on.  which requires one last big exhale and then.  tomorrow comes.

last night was shoes with pink flowers, a pearl anklet, a swirly skirt, and dancing in the balcony, lyle lovett on stage.  i remembered life before.  today is one last jeep load of stuff from my mother's house and i am done.  i can feel her exhaling right along with me.  pushing me out the door to the rest of my life.  i love her for that.

i do wish she'd chosen another day, though - it will be 103 today.  85 tomorrow.  when god is happy, he plays.  i think he is happy.

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6 comments:

  1. I love the thought of G*d playing.

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  2. I think you, too, are happy, I hear it in the music of your words.

    But oh my, yes, cooler would be nice. You made me smile, just the other day I found myself singing "Let it Snow," and I wondered where that came from. Now I know :)

    Exhale BIG today. xoxo

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  3. oh what a difference one day temp would have made .... thinking of you !

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  4. yup. inhale. sounds like a plan to me.
    dancing on the balcony in a swirly skirt to Lyle Lovett, brings a smile to my face.
    your temperatures, on the other hand, make me want to sweat for you. had to check that, as occasionally i hit the key next to t and it becomes an r for the end of the word. sometimes that is appropriate too.
    in fondest, tilda

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  5. I've been listening to Christmas carols, too. Longing and longing for a break in the heat. We got a break this evening. Of course, tornadoes came with it. Not sure that's an improvement...

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  6. i find myself exhaling quite often.
    after reading your post, i practiced slow inhaling.
    it felt good.

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