“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

5.30.2012

i didn't cause i didn't wanna


standing still somewhere in the nowhere
focused on the nothing out there in the distance
across the water
under the sky
in the place of i didn't

i followed my muse into the deep part and floated, doing nothing, letting go, letting go. 

i didn't write one word.  i didn't paint.  

i didn't.  

it was exactly where i wanted to be.
not doing, 
not chasing my dreams,
not nothing.

i once knew a photographer who was a fabulous cook - i may have told you this before, how he made the best gumbo ever, how once michael and i sat in my november living room while it stormed and iced outside the walls, and dined on that gumbo - a gift of the very best kind - while george bailey's wonderful life played across the tv screen. those were the days when my tv was only black and white and tiny tiny, but it mattered not, i didn't care, i have memories of those days that are anything but.  this gumbo, like i said, was the best ever, and every batch was the best, so good that people always told the cook he should give up photography, open a restaurant, he should sell that gumbo, he should something besides just cook it and eat it and give it away, and he would always shake his head no and reply that there once was a time when he liked taking pictures.  and he would smile.  

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15 comments:

  1. Yes, there was once a time when I liked painting, until it became a job with rules and expectations. I have to find my nothing again. Thank you.

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  2. I. so. get. that.
    so much glad wisdom packed tight
    into those beautiful words.
    -Jennifer

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  3. Yes, time off is for doing nothing. And sometimes a talent is too precious to the talented one to make it a business. It does take the fun out of it.

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    Replies
    1. SO true. so true. we need to hold onto our fun. xoxo

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  4. I think about this lately, how it might just be easier to get a job doing something so far from what you love... something that doesn't take pieces of you with it every day. Something that just pays the bills. But really, I suppose no such thing exists.

    Sometimes doing nothing is exactly the best way to do something.

    And I love that photo, toes painted the color of peonies.

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    Replies
    1. email coming your way, mrs. m. but yes, it's the taking of pieces that leaves you aching and tired of trying all the time. too much trying = only that.

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  5. Yeah, that photo is magic. I agree with the gumbo making man & with the necessity & wisdom of nothing.
    "Something" is highly overrated.

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    Replies
    1. yes. unless it's in the way she moves. ;-)

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  6. for me, my time is my own. to do with as i please.
    sometimes i do nothing but sit on the porch with coffee and watch
    grass grow. these are the times i remember. not the work week, which
    i had come to hate. i am most fortunate. i now do what i love.
    photography and writing. reaching and stretching myself into new directions.
    auctions, sales, staging, reading you and Mrs M. it just does not
    get any better.

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  7. Being in a state of nothingness is, yes, a most wonderful place to be. The photograph you have here is amazing--I know that word gets overused quite a bit. Incredible doesn't sound quite right either. I'll just give you 10 points and a big gold star--that ought to do it.

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come. sit under the emma tree & let's talk. i have cookies . . .