“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

12.07.2011

reverb 11: forgiveness


well, 'tis the season, after all.

i think it's condemned, this funniest of old houses, though it was there last time i checked; the white wooden gate leading to the backyard is spray painted with the words walk lightly.  yes.


forgiveness.
who have you forgiven this year
and what was the journey like that brought you to forgive them?

reverb 11


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i stood on boo radley's front porch this year
and learned to see from the other side.
it was almost impossible and i find even now
even now
that my lips grow tight as i type these words
and i remind myself to unclench my teeth.
it was a fight from the get-go, from the first, from the firing of the gun
the race is on and here comes pride up the backstretch
it was so personal i could see it no other way.
it was all about me all about me but it wasn't.
it wasn't.
it was about them giving all they could
and i had to stand on their porches walk in their shoes
cry myself to sleep sit in the jeep and scream
before i could forgive,
but it wasn't forgiveness,
it was seeing.

where forgiveness really lives i haven't ventured.
i walk lightly around it, testing the ground.

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7 comments:

  1. Something about that photo just makes me smile, even though part of me thinks it should make me sad.

    it wasn't forgiveness, it was seeing.

    yes, they are so different, aren't they?

    i've spent the day thinking about forgiveness, mainly about the whole question of if you don't forget, do you still forgive?

    i feel like we are all testing the ground.

    perhaps the forgiveness comes when you are able to finally look away.

    xoxo

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  2. Forgiveness is hard, so very difficult to do. I work on it, worry it over and over like a dog with a bone and find myself the hardest to forgive...

    Testing the ground, indeed.

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  3. This year I forgave, but have not forgotten, someone, who hurt someone I loved very much for monetary gain! But life is to short and alas we will never regain what we had but at least we are talking!!!
    'Tis the season after all.

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  4. "where forgiveness really lives i haven't ventured.
    i walk lightly around it, testing the ground."

    Oh, yes. I know that ground, too, the ground that edges forgiveness. I haven't dared step off it yet towards what seems like much more treacherous ground to me. But I love what you say about seeing. We can see where we are, even point to it on a map of hurts and loves and betrayals.

    Ah, coming here is a very good way to start my day. Thanks for your heart and good eyesight. xoxo

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  5. The confusion about forgiveness is that most try to forgive both the wrong done and the person having done it. Wrong is wrong and should never be forgiven. Detest the wrongdoing, but love the person which is only possible if you separate the two.

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  6. Forgiveness is a difficult thing - to forgive, but not forget, no never forget. Indeed walk lightly.

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  7. What an amazing post.

    and learned to see from the other side. (this takes courage)

    and i remind myself to unclench my teeth. (I can so relate)

    here comes pride up the backstretch
    it was so personal i could see it no other way.
    it was all about me all about me but it wasn't.
    it wasn't. (great insight)

    it was about them giving all they could (I still have a hard time believing this)

    and i had to stand on their porches walk in their shoes

    but it wasn't forgiveness,
    it was seeing. (This is so beautiful...and wise)

    where forgiveness really lives i haven't ventured.
    i walk lightly around it, testing the ground. (lovely)

    I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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