“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

3.06.2011

uncomplicated

it's a bit chilly out there, i'm wearing a sweater,
but the sunshine is warm and feels easy on my toes and across my shoulders. 
uncomplicated.
just me and lily and the sun
and a coke and a cheap novel on the kindle,
and only one phone call today.

i could ignore what's happened,
pretend it hasn't, but it has,
and dear god, but how i've underestimated uncomplicated.
i am much more appreciative this sun day.

my mother's funeral was thursday
and in my not thinking,
i'd brought home baskets of flowers,
thinking them potted plants,
or really not thinking at all, i suppose,
but nevermind, it's okay,
a purpose to everything under heaven;
i gathered all the rose petals from all those baskets
and today,
in this sun,
scattered them across her grave and my father's,
at last together,
and took no picture because it was too sacred,
too new.

and then to here and lily and that novel
and the sun.
uncomplicated, if only for right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


30 comments:

  1. Those uncomplicated moments are so vital to your journey right now, Lovely Debi. It amazes me how you have come to appreciate them for what they are so quickly. I love the image of those petals covering your parents' resting places.
    So Beautiful.
    Keeping the light and love flowing down to you, my Friend.

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  2. my thoughts and prayers are still heading south to you....

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  3. Beautiful. My heart goes out to you and your family for your loss. And it is warmed by the knowledge that you are taking care of yourself in this uncomplicated moment.

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  4. Oh sweetheart, I'm sitting here with tears running down my cheeks for I know all too well the pain that comes with losing a parent. There are no words that can take away the pain, I just hope that memories that right now bring a tear will be replaced with those that bring a smile. Big hug, thinking of you. x

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  5. You need those uncomplicated moments right now. I am thinking of you and wishing you more uncomplicated moments of rest and healing

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  6. My thoughts and prayers are with you...
    A

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  7. Cuz, It was good to see you, Chuck and Bo though so sad the reason. Healing takes time but it does happen. Weep and embrace the memories - its good for ya. 'Til the next visit.
    With Love,
    Barb

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  8. Sending you love...and many more uncomplicated moments.xo

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  9. Hugs from here and heaps of healing for your heart.

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  10. still keeping you in my thoughts. i am pleased you had the warmth of the sun, and your rose petals.
    in fondest. Tilda

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  11. Wow. This was profoundly moving. I am sorry for your loss.

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  12. It is in these moments that we breathe and find ourselves...

    :-)

    (((hugs))),
    love,
    me

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  13. "how i've underestimated uncomplicated." we do almost always underestimate that, don't we? but life happens and all you can do sometimes when things are so complicated, is take the time to sit in the sun with a cat and a book and take that moment for ourselves, breathe it in, savor it.
    sending hugs, as always.

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  14. Oh I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I think uncomplicated is just perfect right now, my dear. You've been through alot and it has been SO COMplicated. So rest, and sleep, and read, and relish UNcomplicated for awhile. And heal. My prayers are with you...

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  15. losing a parent, at any age, is the toughest thing we can go through i think. be easy and gentle on yourself. surround yourself with love and good friends, and keep those memories of your mother close and around you. sending you all good thoughts and strength today x

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  16. "When sorrow sits at the head of your bed, know that joy waits at your feet." Kahlil Gibran
    You're so expressive. Thank you.

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  17. Hey Debi, I'm so sad to read those words about your Mom, I have thought about you every day. But the words that you are taking care of yourself are good to hear.
    Love and blessings,
    Susan

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  18. It's hard to believe the world keeps spinning and we have to get on with the normal routines of our lives after such a profound loss as this is but I am glad to hear that you are able to take time to sit in the sun with Lily. You deserve a little calm and quiet right now. Scattering rose petals for your parents sounds lovely.

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  19. Sending you love and prayers during this time of need. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Kathy

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  20. I am so sorry for your loss. If I could give you anything right now, it would be "uncomplicated."

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  21. So sorry for your loss. Time/healing - let it happen. My mother was very old when she died, and people would say, oh, she's had a good life. True. But she is the only mother I ever had. Bottom line.

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  22. In the Finnish tradition, we say, "let me take a portion of your sorrow" and I say this to you now so that your sorrow will not weigh so heavily on you.

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  23. I know that there are no words. Your mom left a most excellent legacy to the world in you. Just know that in my heart, I am holding you close so that healing love can flow into you.

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  24. Welcome to the sunlight and uncomplicated, if only for the moment. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

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  25. uncomplicated is such a wonderful word to embrace right now . i love the image i have of you placing the petals across the graves .. in your grief and pain your sharing once again touches my heart..

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  26. The very first blog post I read on Emma Tree was about you throwing wilted flowers into a river and reading meaning into the pattern in which they landed. I don't remember what kind of flowers they were--they may have been roses, but maybe not. Either way, now I read about you scattering rose petals on your parents' graves and it seems right, a good place to be at this time, no matter how difficult. You are still in my prayers and always in my heart.

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  27. my deepest sympathy for you Debi.
    hugs
    kim
    xo

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  28. Such a nice place to be...in the simple. Let the sun rays wrap you in warmth and help heal you. And Lily too. xo

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  29. my friend,
    i keep you beside my heart.
    xo

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