“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

5.13.2010

why i haven't been here. with lights.

this looked much better to me last night,
this cell phone image of the downtown square,
the trees decked in blue & green lights,
welcoming spring,
welcoming warmth.

me no tengo home lately, mine exterminated and me having a not pleasant reaction to that, waiting it out until the chemicals & smell go away, and the fleas & bugs & everything else also, and i have been sleeping in my office. the ever-wonderful michael bought an airbed for me so at least i am not on the floor, but we are busy & i am working late, and i am working on the last of the photos for my autumn Somerset Life article, due next week, and feeling very much in limbo, needing to be here, wanting to be at home and unable to. and yes, there are people i could stay with, but i am quite unpleasant company right now and exhausted again and needing to be alone at the end of each day, so my office proves the best solution. home each morning to open windows, shower & dress, home each evening to close the place up.

last night i was mary tyler moore in the grocery store - remember how she just rolled her eyes & shook her head & tossed whatever into her basket? i couldn't even manage that. i was too exhausted and while i badly wanted cherries, i didn't want 2 lbs. of them, and that's the only way they were buyable, so i just left and bought a smoothie instead. and not one of those green this and healthy that smoothies either - i bought one that actually tastes good, strawberries & blueberries with raspberry sorbet. i bought a big one and decided to take advantage of the wonderful breezy cool fabulous evening in the downtown square, just sit in the gathering darkness and unwind. it was not to be; a man wouldn't leave me alone, wanted to talk, so i left and headed back to work and louisa may alcott. next i am rereading the witch of blackbird pond.

there had been a moment or two.
under the trees.
silence, wind, fairy lights.
i was immensely grateful.
today, i may buy the cherries.

and soon, i will be here with joy
not complaining.
another week and we will be done.

8 comments:

  1. Unpleasant company or not, it is always good to hear your voice. I am in a similar place these days, tired and frustrated, but somehow a post like this makes it a little better. Not misery loving company, but finding comfort in knowing someone else is persevering and finding a moment or two of gratefulness in the midst of hardship. Hopefully, knowing that will be an encouragement for you too.
    Hugs,
    Amy

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  2. I love the way you tell the stories of your life. Mine are so different, yet I smile & nod. I know that need to sleep alone, read Little Women & drink raspberry smoothie without conversation.
    Just the stars & trees & lights all around.

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  3. it's a gift to know when you're not worthy company :)

    and those cherries, i hope you buy them !

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  4. How does it go, life is just a bowl of cherries?
    You already have the bowl...
    hugs to you

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  5. isn't life something..cherries and lights in the tree..thank goodness for airbeds!

    off to San Antonio tomorrow for college graduation..

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  6. Oh I sooo feel for you! We had to tent our house last year, and what a huge pain it was. We had to be out of it for over a week... but only because I couldn't stand the smell of it. They said we could move back in in 3 days, but I could smell the poison and had to stay elsewhere. Having to do that made home all that more precious to me! xxVicki

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  7. While you are rereading Witch of Blackbird Pond and I reading A Wrinkle in Time to Sloane. It's her first time. Am waiting for a stormy night to begin it.

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  8. Unwinding on a warm breezy evening in a familiar place in town...that makes me yearn for warm summer nights. Makes me want to go downtown today just to people watch and maybe do a wee bit of shopping...I only have the energy to shop for little bits at a time.
    But, today it is raining. Not a good day to wander. A very good day to read and drink tea.

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