“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

5.19.2010

of ghosts and cats and magic and all that good stuff

oh, you thought all the maggie stuff was over, i know, but i am unravelling again, and in the course of thinking about the first assignment, i began to wonder how to photograph emptiness, which is not the assignment but that's what happens when you begin to unravel and you have a lot of knots to untie and a lot of loose ends, you just never know which one you're gonna follow right now, and so anyway i was thinking about emptiness. still. i know, i know, i just thought if i could put it in pictures as well as words it would help because it still feels wrong when i come home and it's just me, and the house just isn't the same, but here i am and i don't even feel like the same person anymore, and something must be done, mustn't it? and so i began to look through old images, so many of maggie, so many, but at the same time i was looking for images for other stuff and came upon the above very underexposed picture, just a blob of black & shades of barely gray & my feet on the computer screen, but that reflection in the upper left hand corner stopped me. it looked like a cat's eyes; if you squint your own eyes really really hard and imagine the whole thing darker and ignore the 3rd little reflection, you can kind of see what I saw. and so, i lightened it. a lot. a lot. and there was maggie's tail and she was walking away.

you can't convince me that was coincidence. i know better. i know how the universe works, i know signs and messages are out there all over the place and we are just usually too busy or too suspicious or too something to pay attention. i've learned to listen, i've learned to be naive and childlike when it comes to this kind of magic because that is the only way it will find you. and if this isn't a picture of goodbye, of emptiness, of left-all-alone-ness, well then, i don't know what is. and the funny part is, the weird thing is, that it didn't make me sad. it made me smile. never mind that my feet are standing there all vulnerable and naked and pointed in a totally different direction from maggie's feet. never mind that. it made me smile, her tail up in the air and all ghostlike and gone. it felt okay. it felt right.

9 comments:

  1. Yes!! I know that space; wishing I could travel the way they are going...but being"here", being witness. carrying on...

    It's all good...

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  2. the signs from the universe are everywhere....once you know how to see them....i'm glad you're one of those people...i hate being alone when it comes to things that some people don't understand yet.

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  3. And, a wee bit eerie too. Maggie knows how to 'reach' you!

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  4. Oh, yes. Wonderful, wonderful, this picture you were meant to find now, just now. And still, we do not mind at all, that you show us more Maggie, More you missing Maggie. More magic words and magic pictures. In fact, we love it. It is good stuff.

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  5. I love this photo... it is truly magic, and so beautiful as well. You never know where you are going to find these little gems, kudos to you for finding this one!!

    :)
    Rachael
    http://itsalongsweetlife.blogspot.com
    http://aubreyjune.blogspot.com

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  6. Truly, talk about Maggie as much and as often as you need. I had been living 2000 miles away from home for many years when the cats I grew up with died, so I was already used to their absence. But I am still struck by grief over the loss of my bunny 3 years ago, and we only had her for a year. I cannot imagine the impact of losing Janson, Willow, or Angel--frankly, it scares me. So I will not begrudge you a single moment or word. It is good for you, and ultimately good for all of those who read it, because watching you find peace and a way to smile enables us to do the same. It is a beautiful photo, Debi, and a beautiful message from the universe.

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  7. beshert. hebrew for meant to be. beshert that you would find that image.

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  8. i've learned to be naive and childlike when it comes to this kind of magic because that is the only way it will find you.

    This. This knowing is your magic. And your gift to me.

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  9. Step, by baby step...

    You, of all people, NEVER miss the signs and messages. You are so connected.

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