“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

5.03.2010

and there were fields of wildflowers

everywhere she walked, and places right there on the edge where she could lay down in their midst and still see all the way to home, to where she used to be; she could lay there and keep an eye on things and work on her message-sending skills, they weren't something one learned overnight. she wished she could send a dream to say she was okay, in fact more than okay, and she could see that calendar with her name on it in red ink - it was in the may 4 square and it said maggie/18, and she knew what a heartbreak that was causing, that unmet 18th birthday, and she remembered the day it was written, the prayers and hopes behind that writing, and she remembered how hard they'd fought for it, fought together, but the time had come, it had come, and she'd laid in the flowers down there and awakened in the flowers up here. she would tell her it was better here if she could, she would tell her she wished she could lay in her lap tonight - she could see the rain fall and could see her house and could see her sitting there as always with the tv on and the sound off, could see gene kelly dancing across the screen, and she knew how much she was missed, knew how much it would mean if she could just one more time, especially this rainy birthday eve, lay in her lap and grow warm against her and purr them both to sleep for a while.

13 comments:

  1. i think she's celebrating her birthday by missing you and eating ice cream with sprinkles on it, to take away the pain of missing you....

    but she's also running around with all the other cats and kittens before her and she's making friends and starting to believe that everything will be okay.....

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  2. lump. in. throat.

    could you please put together a little book of your pictures and words and offer them for sale? i would be the first one to buy, because, you see, i need that book.

    love to you and miss mags. xxoo

    p.s. thanks for the extra smooches.

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  3. oh, you made me cry. and she is there, watching, and wishing, and purring, on her side. and that, that was absolutely beautiful and brilliant and you have your words, your words, to help you through this.
    I will be sending hugs to you all day, today.

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  4. My hand is on my heart,
    I am without words, but I know she knows & is there in spirit & loves you so.
    Much love to you

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  5. She is still with you Deb, in your heart where she has always been and where she will remain. Happy Birthday Sweet Maggie ........

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  6. argh you made me cry again...at least I am not at work this time. I pray for strength for you to get through this tough day. Happy birthday Maggie...you were such a beautiful girl.

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  7. Love you, sweet pea. That's all. I just love you.

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  8. you write out your grief so well. what a pretty field. how it must have calmed you to see it and photograph it.

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  9. Hello there?

    Looks that wildflowers grows prettily around there.

    Love the pastel colour & even the green turns in a pastel green am I right?

    You got style.
    x0x0

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  10. much love from the swaying grasses of home..

    i needed a good cry tonight...

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  11. i truly love visiting you... and these words...'sigh'

    speechless..... xxo, kim
    deep breath....

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  12. this makes me so sad. i know it must have been a hard day for you. blessings to you.
    love the soft colors of this wildflower field

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  13. Oh she is so very much ok...and you will be too, dear one. She will make sure of that.

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come. sit under the emma tree & let's talk. i have cookies . . .