“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

12.31.2009

I Awoke To A Dream: Navigate

This year draws to a close.

The morning snuck in, foggy, foggy outside, but Maggie woke me and despite a temperature maybe in the 40s, I was outside in flipflops and a t-strap gown over pajama bottoms walking this block, my  block, no one outside but me, taking pictures, saying a silent goodbye, until my toes grew cold and the goodbyes were finished. The street felt like a church, I felt I should kneel and say a prayer, place my hand on this ground and close my eyes and whisper a goodbye to the year that felt like a dream, the year I felt tossed about, so often unable to find my way, no map available, no way to find true north, no compass, no nothing.

I am plunging into the night.

I am navigating.
I have on my side only the stars.
                                                                                                       ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

And so a word chooses me in time for the new year.

Navigate.

–verb (used with object)
1. to move on, over, or through
2. to direct or manage (something) on its course.
3. to ascertain or plot and control the course or position of (something).
4. to pass over (something).
5. to walk or find one's way on, in, or across.
–verb (used without object)
6. to direct or manage something on its course.
7. to walk or find one's way.
8. to travel

To walk or find one's way. To chart a course.

So much we cannot control. But so much we can. Last year threw me from one emotion to another, buffeted me about, and I allowed it. This year I have a compass and I will learn to read the stars. And when thrown off course I will still know where I am.

6 comments:

  1. s vision and a fabulous word ..i honor the year with you...

    thank you for your honesty in all that you write...
    blessed new year to navigate

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  2. so so true, my friend. that control thing... i am read to let that go. as the year goes, i will release that as well.
    happy new year!

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  3. first you allowed yourself to unravel, finding that point on your globe that would send you to the blue moon this year. now.... to navigate from that point and stay the course. May i accompany you are parts of your journey? you know how much i love to come along for the ride :)
    i wanted to visit here on the first day of the year to send you on your way with my best wishes for love and growth.
    leaving for the airport in 30 minutes. Henry still not home:( rachel and paul and olivia in a real state of upset. paul's mother in the hospital, a real mess. MiMi to the rescue. i hope..... think about me please.
    xoxoxox

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  4. That is a word dripping with all kinds of possiblility.
    So perfect.

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  5. Hello I came to visit after seeing your comment at Grace's blog. Your word sings to me ~ Navigate. I too am learning to give myself permission, to choose to navigate.

    My word for 2o10 is affluent (she says bravely). I should make it Brave too.

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  6. Hi. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to your post. We were celebrating the holidays with family and such...anyhow...I'm just getting back to you. First of all, Antoine de Saint Exupery is my FAVORITE writer! I read The Little Prince once a year to my kids and always feel such happiness and understanding after doing so. More importantly, I am interested in your word. You could have chosen direct or control, but chose navigate. That's so interesting to me. And I can't wait to see where you take you, the choices you make and the places you go. I'm so interested to get to know you and to spend this year around this word. Good choice! And have fun!

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