“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan


Dear Santa - Revised and Updated 9:20 PM After Reading the Purple Lace Panties Comment

Fill in the blanks.

Naughty or nice,
what can Santa bring that will make you feel like a child again?

Inspired by Sheila, who made me laugh,
posted a funny comment,
set my priorities straight without even meaning to;
just trying to cheer me up,
she having read the sad heartbreak of a tale
originally posted here.
All true,
all sad,
all too much, really.
So down came that post,
like a stocking filled with too much coal,
falling to the floor on Christmas morning.

Be a child again.
What would it take?
Be selfish,
be silly.
Don't say world peace.
You are 7. Maybe 10.
You are not enlightened.
You are out for you.
One thing, maybe two.

I'll go first.
Let me close my eyes a moment
and snuggle into my 9 year old brain.
Okay . . . she would want a Tressy doll.
I, however, want a scooter.
A moped.
Just for fun.
Just to bop around.
A white one.

And you?
Remember, something fun.
I want to hear you laugh like a child
when you find it under the tree
Christmas morning.

Thank you Sheila.
You and your purple lace panties.
thank you!


  1. If you want to laugh.... I was diving today and grabbed my wadded up clothes to put them back on. I had my hand on the bathroom door handle, when I heard the guy say, "You dropped something." I was hoping it was a sock, but of course it wasn't. It was a little pair of purple lace panties. Just sitting there. I thought I was going to just die, but I was also grateful that they weren't big old granny panties!!!!

  2. Oh, was it national death-by-panties day today?

    So there I was, walking past an endless car repair place - I swear it was like a city block long, and sat practically right on the sidewalk - when I felt something brushing against the back of my legs. At first, I ignored it, since anything that usually falls off me just wasn't that great anyway. But when the light brush turned into a serious swish, I couldn't stand the suspense anymore and had to look down. My grannified underwear had somehow exploded and slid just about to my calves. Oh, not the pretty faux lace part, mind you. The waistband. Right. There. So to keep from tripping and falling (making matters so much worse), I had to stop, put down my stuff, and struggle out of my undies, which of course got stuck on my shoes - right in front of the mile-long car repair place. Yep, that enlivened just about everyone's holiday.

  3. Should should do a "your worst awkward moment" post! I'm so glad we made you laugh!

  4. OMG! I can just see that, dear Robin, and all the smiles you brought to all those mechanics, and Sheila, aren't you glad you're not the only one with a panty horror story and that at least yours were purple and lacy? I have no panty story, I'm afraid (and grateful for), but I do have an old beat up bra story, but seeings how it was just the one I wore to the emrgency room once when I was deathly ill, it being the most comfy one I owned, and the only thing was that it had to removed for xrays to be taken, and the hospital was chock full of people, me on a bed in a hallway next to a methadone addict (2ce that's happened to me) - the bra was hung on the bed so everyone and God could see how pathetic it looked, but really, I was so sick I didn't care, so seeings all that, I'm not sure it counts. I think you have to care for it to count.

    Y'all are too funny and so honest I love you both with all my heart.

    :) Debi

  5. I have a bra story - worked at a Pioneer Village museum for a while where we had to dress up. One lovely day, I had just finished baking bread in a dutch oven, and emerged, rosy cheeked to offer some to the visitors . I realized I had forgotten the butter, and when I reached to get it I caught the front of my dress on the top of a tall chair back, popping open every button as I went, exposing me from neck to navel (thank goodness for the apron tied at my waist!!) When I turned back around after whirling to do myself up, the room was empty - they'd all fled (thank goodness!!)


    Now my ultimate giggle-clapping-my-hands-Christmas morning present? I think red sequinned high heels or a big girl tea set, or a purple bicycle with a basket on the handlebars and a bell! (Or, quite frankly, a big shiny big-girl car - giggle!)


  6. Oh my gosh! I laughed out loud at that post! I too would have wished I'd said or done something witty but wouldn't have been able to. I do have a panty story too come to think ... I was on the bus and like Robin, felt something rubbing against my leg. Thank god I was already seated because when I looked down, there hanging out the end of my pant leg was a pair of my worst granny panties.

    Okay, something childlike .... something I wanted so badly as a kid was an Easy Bake Oven. Since i don't think those exist anymore I guess i'd have to go for a Holga or a Diana which I guess are around the same era and would elicit a similar type of squealing and giggling. :-)

  7. Megg - I bet they still smile when they think about it. :)

    And Suvarna - Obviously granny panties are dangerous things and should be avoided at all cost. They apparently have a life of their own!

    :) Debi

  8. i had beautiful ...lovely panties to wear on my wedding day ..sigh...forgotten in my apartment in the rush...got married in my rattiest ..."last pair you have before laundry" (all the rest were packed for honeymoon)

    thanks for the laughs...

  9. Oh my god...I knew exactly what I wanted to put here as I was reading your post. I knew what I wanted Santa to bring me again, like he did when I was 5...It came instantly, and it was the only thing that came to me...and it was the same thing as Suvarna's! An Easy Bake Oven! Hands down the best thing I ever got..complete with tiny cake pans and mixes and icing, and sprinkles even..oh yum! I remember it so vividly, with all of my senses.
    Yes, I wish for another little light bulb in a box to cook my cupcakes.

  10. I have to say though, I grieve a little bit when I come here to discover that something has been removed, even if it is a sad and heartbreaking tale.

  11. Good news everyone, the Easy Bake oven is still available, or should I say, available again! Here's the link: http://www.hasbro.com/easybake/

    I had one similar when I was a kid and loved it!

    Not sure what that present would be today, although the idea of a scooter is VERY appealing! Make mine bright shiny cherry red, please, Santa!

  12. Me, now? I want a turquoise Vespa. And to never have embarrassing underwear stories of my own.

    Me, then? A trampoline. Definitely!! I'd still be thrilled with one, actually.


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