“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

7.11.2009

Sunshine 14


When you least expect it, there it will be.

A comment the other day aroused my interest, Sunshine 14 discovering my hidden words beneath each post, discovering it all on her own. I haven't mentioned it in ages, and I liked that she found them, I was intrigued, and I thought I need to respond, to say something. I didn't however - I got busy or forgetful or tired, but I thought about it nonetheless, and hoped others noticed so that they too could find the hidden words, even though they are never words of any deepness, if you will, just a thought, a pause, an ending for myself (although sometimes I will admit that the hidden words end up not hidden because they are the perfect ending for a post, and then I have to think up new ones to hide). I also noticed she began to respond a bit more, a comment here & there, and I noticed that once she responded by referencing a hidden word, something only a couple of others do, and you know who you are.

And then came the post where I announced I was taking some time away, her comment there a little different than others'; instead of a take all the time you need, it was an I miss you. Again, just something different, something not quite the same, someone on a different track than most of us, and I was pleased to read it, but surprised that someone would say come on back, enough is enough - okay she didn't really say that, but I could read her hidden words lurking between the lines. I'd checked her profile back when she left her first comment & knew she had no blog, but this time I noticed an avatar, an image alongside her name, and even very small I thought I know that picture, and I clicked on it & yes, discovered she is using one of my images as her avatar! I looked at the profile page for a moment & truly, I must tell you, I couldn't think - a true Zen moment. It made no sense, and when my brain began to work again, I thought does she not know she can't do that? Does she not know that's my image, and what is going on & why is this so confusing? Still no blog, no email, no way to say anything without calling her out publicly, and really, I guess I should be flattered, I thought, but that's my image! I read the 3 or 4 things on her profile, favorite book, movie, song, I saw she was from Texas, and then. Yes. Then. Back to that favorite book. Back to that song. And I knew.

The girl with the green fingernails.

Can I describe how happy that made me? No. I have no words, hidden or otherwise. She has reached the age where she is allowed to be here, and yes, she is growing up too fast (that is for her - they were the first hidden words she discovered), but if she has to grow up, I am happy, happy, happy that she is growing up to be someone I can talk to, someone I can laugh with, someone I respect, someone who is a role model for me, sly trickster though she is. And something in me loosened, something tense let go, and I laughed right out loud, so happy to have her here, so impressed with her sneakiness. :) And so perhaps I am back after only 2 days - perhaps she was the cure for what ails me. Apparently so, although I am giving myself permission to not worry if I don't post for 2 or 3 days, permission for short breaks as needed.

And the image?
Oh, it's hers, it was always hers.
And the video?
For her also. One of her favorites.
she is the light of my life, even if it embarrasses her to read this

16 comments:

  1. Ooh, secret words. I used to do that all the time, too!!! Now I'll be obsessed with checking out yours on each of your entries.

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  2. Hehe...I had to giggle at the last part of that paragraph...giving yourself permission to take 2 or 3 days off...I am working on giving myself permission to take 2 or 3 WEEKS off at a time...without any guilt! We must follow our own rhythms I suppose.

    Very entertaining video...makes me wonder how many takes they had to do before they got all the way through without a mistake!

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  3. i find myself without words to comment but wanting to acknowledge how alive reading your posts makes me feel. an alive that includes days of not writing, of feeling confused, of feeling joy, of being surprised. of dancing.

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  4. Wow...what a fun post!

    Hi, Debi-- Just wanted to stop by and say hi and that I am very excited about joining with you and the others in our unravelling adventure! You have a lovely blog and i look forward to visiting this again.

    TTFN ~~ Claudia ♥

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  5. Thanks :-) You inspire so much to so many. And I'm most definately not embarrassed; if anything, I'm flattered!
    PS. I also loved the video; I've seen it a few times myself. A companion and I made our own video exactly like the Daft Bodies version (neither one of us has the guts to post it on Youtube, though, we looked like lunatics).

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  6. Hello! Looking forward to Unravelling with you.

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  7. hey. your blog looks fabulous. love the photos. can't wait to unravel.

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  8. miz katie - Like I said, it's nothing deep. Just some fun! :)

    Jaime - You are much more secure than I. Actually, I feel odd if I don't write something here for a while - like I'm heavier & need to get rid of stuff. Jettisoning that cargo I spoke of in another post. LOL! And re: the video - I figure thousands of times. There's another video where they write the words on their bodies, arms & legs & change positions & it's pretty crazy also.

    Hele - I appreciate your commenting even when you have no words! :) It means a lot - thank you.

    Claudia - I am excited, but admit to a little fear also. (That's why this blog is called Tales of Art and Anxiety.) Thanks for the thumbs up - can't wait for this unravelling to begin. And PS - Nice to meet you!

    Sunshine - I'm sure you didn't look like lunatics - wait. Maybe I'm not so sure. LOL! Thank you for not being embarrassed! Love you lots!

    Lucrecer - I tried to comment on your blog, but was having problems, so hopefully you will see my answer here. LOVE your blog name & it looked great - I'm looking forward to travelling through this program with you. :)

    Tonya - Thank you. Y'all all sound so much braver than I - LOL! This actually comes at a perfect time in my life - I look forward to reading & seeing more about you!

    Take care all!
    :) Debi

    PS - Anonymous - Are you sober? You are having way too much fun.

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  9. hello there,
    just stopping by to say looking forward to getting to know you during the unravelling e-course.
    Lorna x

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  10. Another unraveller here! Can't wait to get started....

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  11. Yet another unraveller, your blog is fantastic and your art is amazing. I have a 14 year old daughter, almost 15....it is amazing to watch them grow into real people...

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  12. New to following your blog, but u know that. I need to be more on my toes, and as others, i enjoy. Let 'er rip. glenn

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  13. I look forward to Unravelling with you!

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  14. So sweet that you can share this her, glad you will only be gone for short periods as I relish my time spent here in this wonderful word stew world of yours.
    xoxo

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  15. Good morning. What a wonderful way to start the day. Thank you for coming back.

    Love you,
    Donna

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