“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

7.17.2009

Not for Sissies

These are the shoes I wore to Mary's memorial service.

I have been unravelling this week, and I must tell you, it is quite different from unfurling, which I didn't expect. I thought how different can it be?, and since I am already in the midst of unfurling, why, no big deal. I was quite, quite wrong, and perhaps it is because I am already so emotional about everything, crying at everything - you should thank your lucky stars you are far away from me; I don't know how or why the ever-wonderful Michael is putting up with it - or perhaps it's the fact the air conditioner broke here at work and I ran away from the place, but I have discovered that untying lifelong knots is not for sissies, and we are less than 1 week in. 7 more to go.

I can see the beginning change in the image above. It just feels different to me than my usual photography; it feels as if there's more of a story there, not just a still life image.

I am grateful.
Thank you Susannah.
though i am still wiping away tears constantly

13 comments:

  1. Another unraveler here. I'm so happy to hear your nut is cracking open. Mine too. In just one short week and a couple of assignments. My eyes are opening. That course is amazing!

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  2. Carla - It is! Much more so than I'd expected. The assignments seem so simple and yet . . .

    :) Debi

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  3. i think you are doing wonderfully :) x

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  4. I think,,maybe,, hummm not sure,,, yep am sure, I see a little bit of brightness and color coming through. " This liddle piggie....:)

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  5. Interesting reaction. I'm not feeling any crests and dips. . . just "feeting" and writing away. Could it be because I'm older and this kind of stuff is old hat to me, blessed as I am to have had the past six years alone to explore my creative layers?

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  6. love the tiny bit of red amongst the black, the white, the gray...a spot of color offering hope.

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  7. And so it begins .... I see it too, the beginnings of a story of letting go .... good journey to you.

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  8. Hello from a fellow unraveller.

    Recently I started journaling through some tough things, and I was feeling meloncholly and down - and my friend sent me an email that I think would help for you to read:
    "If you're working through things in your
    journal that you haven't done before, you'll find yourself going to places
    that may not seem the happiest. But you're doing the work and that's what
    matters. The same thing happens with meditation. When you begin, if you
    start really digging deep and doing it a lot you may find that you get
    crabby and feel negative. You're stirring the compost and you're doing great
    things, there's just lots to work through. Don't let it get you discouraged,
    it's all part of the process".

    stay strong, and we are here for you in the group

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  9. I am curious of the story behind this photo too. it has made me curious and that is good. great photo! ciao!

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  10. Susannah - Bless you!

    Glenn - Yes. Just peeping in. :)

    Meri - Oh, I am sure you are younger than me! :) And I have lived alone forever, and have explored my creative layers bunches. I'm not sure why suddenly now this is affecting me so. So many of these things are not new to me. Perhaps the stars are lined up in a certain way, perhaps I am ready to open up. Who knows? I am only thankful for the opportunity & for folks like you. :)

    paperfollies - yes, and red is not a color I usually use. It is hopeful!

    Suvarna - You understand. You've been here. And there. Thank you!

    Paper Relics - Thank you for this. I have been digging deep for a long time, almost there, almost there, and when faced with things I didn't want to look at too long, I would turn away. For some reason I am not turning away this time. And it is wonderful to know there are people out there helping, supporting, while going through their own journeys. Muchas gracias!

    Nadia - I, too, want to know this story. LOL! Thank you also!!!!

    :) Debi

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  11. I love the photo. It seems like a journey is about to embark. A journey from a new perspective? (Stepping in to some new shoes.)

    Love it!
    xo

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  12. Brave you,
    All the answers are already within you.
    Even though it is 'old stuff', you may not have been ready...and now, here, (like with the yellow shoes), the time has come,
    to first address this beautiful, but difficult part of you, to lay it to rest for good.
    I say 'beautiful, but difficult part'...for in you I see beauty...everywhere...and this difficult part, has made you who you are.
    Go and be brave! xx

    PS: my word verification word is 'milly' which is the name of a VERY brave little girl who just turned 5 years old, with Down syndrome. She always looked at me and said: 'Milly happy now'.

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