“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

3.29.2009

What Will Be?

Que sera sera.

Yesterday we played those games - you know, those girl games, those silly ones, the ones where you ask what will be. Will I move? Will I marry? Will I ever be a real writer? Or am I a painter? Will I find a house with studio space that I can afford? The Faery Tarot, the Angel Board, finding our Life Colors - I am crystal/indigo, and apparently a healer of some sort according to all 3 games. And I must tell you, this fits in so well with a secret, secret fantasy I have, one that I have told to only Christy & Cookie, and years ago, partly to Katie - she is face to face and therefore more embarrassing to tell silly dreams to - a fantasy that has little to do with (actually nothing to do with) the laying on of my hands, but does have to do with bringing joy & magic & peace to others - peace as I see it, joy as I see it, magic as I see it. A fantasy that requires more money than I have, but one that stays in the back of my head every time I see an empty building, zoned commercial. Perhaps I can live there, I think, and work on my fantasy, and I ask the price & laugh & walk away, but you never know. You never know. But I feel it in my heart & belly almost as sure as I felt that he was the one when I met the ever-wonderful Michael. It requires space, and it will require certain colors, and certain music, and I swear it makes me happy just thinking about it as I type these words. Perhaps it will just be my house when I find one. Because change is in the air - I can feel that also. The energy is beginning to move around me; I can't explain it, but I feel it. Good change. Positive change. Like today - waking up to bright, bright sunlight when all there has been is rain & cold. Yes, cold. In the 30s at night & windy, wet & miserable all day. But today? The 70s I think - I look outside & am blinded; the sunshine is reflecting silver & white in the mirror by the front door, and on Katie's white car parked outside. The wind has stopped for a bit - the wisteria is still, the monkey grass asleep, drowsing.

I, however, feel like moving.
Time to stir, to get up, to walk into the sunshine.
Later, painting.
what will be, will be

8 comments:

  1. one step closer...to your dream...mmmmm....cannot wait to hear more...embrace these words...and your dream...keep asking questions for empty buildings...that perfect one is out there...and you know what the fairies whispered in the air...you'll find that building exactly at the right moment in time for your dream to fly! yayy!!! xx

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  2. you are already healing people with your beautiful words...right here..at this very moment xx

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  3. I'm so glad I was gone for the weekend with a bunch of men and guns.

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  4. You, tease, you.... I am longing to hear your dream fully. Of course, the teasing has sent me into many, many dreams of my own.

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  5. I love those games. I often wonder where I am going as it seems that I have been on a new path since 2007.
    But, sans the building/studio space of your dreams, I think you are making the magic and bringing joy to others! I, for one have been a beneficiary of your fairy dust!

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  6. i agree with periwinkle, you are already healing by putting your words and images out into the world via emma tree!

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  7. I agree with periwinkle too...you are already living a part of this beautiful dream! So many of us come here to get a good dose of magic and beauty and peace. You bring so much to each and every one of us.

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