“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

12.22.2008

On being out-of-focus

My Christmas tree is up.

I didn't want to do it. I'd decided against it. I was too busy, too tired, we are "doing" Christmas at my mother's this year, no one would see it, I'd decorated the Emma Tree here at work, I didn't need one at home also. I would just have to turn around & take it down. Oh, I was full of excuses & reasons, all of which made perfect sense to my brain, but my heart still wanted it. My heart said go ahead, just a small one, don't make a fuss, you have those blue lights you bought a couple of months ago, you're so in love with Katie's blue staircase, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. So I followed my heart. And oh! So glad I listened to it! It shoots circles of blue reflections around the room, like Ken Kesey on a good day. I like the out-of-focus feeling it gives me.


Julie felt like a watercolor last week, edges all blurred and runny, and her post made me realize how sharp I felt, and not in a good way. All sharp edges, I mean, and creases, and the sense of being folded tight for far too long. Ready to tear. By Saturday I was ready to feel truly & really out of focus. Floaty. The day began warm, worked its way into the 70s and then a blue norther (you can't make this stuff up) blew in & by early Saturday evening we were into the 30s, then 20s, then back into the low 30s, and we haven't warmed up yet. It's perfect weather for laying on the couch surrounded by this light, Christmas music in the background, or just silence. I slept most of yesterday afternoon.

It's been a long time coming.
oh & that makes me hear crosby, stills & nash & that makes me feel good

7 comments:

  1. Oh Debi,

    These photos are gorgeous. I'm sitting here at work, feeling all sharp edged, just like you described (I guess my watercolorness is for after work hours!) and I see these images and immediately I feel better.

    Thank you. These are just so lovely to look at.

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  2. Gorgeous blue lights and such a lovely tree. lol the Ken Kesey remark. Looks like a wonderful space to relax and unwind in.

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  3. i think it's good you put up your tree...

    merry christmas!
    xox,
    /julie

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  4. sometimes things look better a little out of focus... and your photos prove it :)

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  5. Oh honey, I could lay on the floor and we could just be quiet together. Looks heavenly and you know I love that color! I'm glad you put up the tree. Love and Merry Christmas to you all.

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  6. Tango - I'm glad the out-of-focus helped. I cannot say enough good things about the imperfections of life. :)

    Suvarna - SO relaxing. Kesey would've turned the music up loud, though! LOL!

    Julie - Me too! Merry Christmas to you!

    Polona - It's so true. Sometimes the harshness of real life just needs a little soft focus to make it all better. Thank you.

    Christy - I have been feeling like I have deserted you. I promise when Chrismtas is past we will catch up. And yes, we could lay under that tree & just be silent together. It's so calming. Love you!

    :) Debi

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  7. I'm so glad I saw this post after Christmas and not before. I think I might have undecorated my tree and did it up in blues like you have just so I could have those wonderful reflections on my walls!
    Mine was done with white lights and lots of stars and glass icicles and hints of red, and I loved it...but ohhhhhhhhh this blue!

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come. sit under the emma tree & let's talk. i have cookies . . .