“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan


Trail of hearts

I thought she didn't love me anymore.

It was a tough week for Maggie - one that meant more pills hidden in treats so that she would maybe not know they were there, so that maybe she would just have them swallowed before she knew it. Maybe she'd never know it. But not this week. This week she became the Maggie she used to be - the Maggie who would fight you over a pill. I knew things had been going too smoothly - in fact, it concerned me, although I silently thanked God & the Universe & whoever else might be listening for the ease with which she'd been eating those little things. Even though they were tucked away in wonderful little treats, she'd usually not been fooled. She usually refused. No way. But this summer? This summer, she'd been eating the pill-laden treats as if they were candy - no big deal. But not this week. This week she hated me. She wouldn't even try. She'd just look at the treat & sit back & look at me. With disdain.

But she had to have the medicine. I couldn't live with myself if I allowed a little pill to get in the way of her feeling better. All of you who live with cats will understand what that meant. It meant war & scratches & bites & more scratches & crying on my part & yowls on her part & more scratches & general misery all around. It broke my heart. I hated it. I hated how it made her feel more than I hated my torn-up hands. She would quickly skedaddle outside when it was all over. She wanted away from me. So I'd give her a bit of time to herself & then I'd find her & pick her up - and thankfully she always let me, although she would eye me quite suspiciously as I approached - & hold her for a few minutes. Rub my cheek against hers. Wait until she started to purr. Sometimes it just took a second, sometimes longer, but in a few minutes she'd want down again, and I'd let her go. Away from me.

But look at the image above. You can just see Maggie's tail as she rounds the corner ahead of me. And see that trail of hearts she left behind?

She still loves me.
i cannot live without her


  1. Oh boy, do I ever know just what you are talking about! But one think you can take solace in is that ~they know~they are so smart and intuitive, she knows you are just doing your part to take care of her, but she doesn't have to like it! :)
    Sandra Evertson

  2. I totally agree with Sandra :-)

    I hope that your hands and arms are ok though!

    btw, I have posted on my blog again ;-)

  3. Oh, the battle sounded all too familiar! And the looks too...sigh. Is this what they really mean by "love hurts"?
    The trail of hearts...oh, my! What a gift of insght you have (and sight). Always magical.

  4. Sandra - I keep telling myself she knows I'm doing this out of love, but . . . you know cats! She's not about to let me know she knows! :)

    Carol - I'm okay, but I do have a sore thumb. LOL! And I'm glad you posted again! I put you back on my list of links!

    Paula - Yes! Love hurts. Although I'm not sure that's the way it's supposed to go! :)
    And that lovely little trail of hearts. How cool is that? No Photoshop required.

    Thanks to you all!
    :) Debi

  5. Oh my gosh Debi. My heart goes out to both of you.

    Yes we've been there. We were there when Toto had diabetes and used the floor registers as her litter box for little jobs. We didn't know about it until an air vent corroded in the basement. I thought we had a leak. Steven said "that's not a leak". Steven checked Toto's blood sugar twice a day and gave her insulin shots. When it was all said and done the carpets had to be removed, hardwood floors underneath were refinished and some boards had to be replaced. Toto's been gone for a few years but Chevy is still with us. She's about 17 and has cancer. Steven gives her pills much the same way that you do with Miss Maggie. He's been sharing a special can of Foie Gras with her that was given to us in a holiday gift basket last year. We couldn't bring ourselves to eat it but decided that it would be okay to share it with her. She has been eating it in bits with her medicine over the past week and had been oh, so very happy.
    I'm sending good wishes to you and Maggie.

    Your photography is magical.

  6. Cookie - Thank you for that story. Maybe a can of Foie Gras is in store for Miss Mags!
    And thank you for the magic words!

    Love, Debi

  7. Oh Debi...this made me want to cry for you. But the last paragraph warmed my soul...the picture, the story, the trail of hearts... everything.
    Despite all of the struggle, OF COURSE SHE STILL LOVES YOU.

    And we love you too.


  8. Jaime - You are so so wonderful. Thank you!

    :) Debi

  9. Thank you for your comment on my blog, I appreciate it.
    I can get so passionate about unfairness in life.
    I don't care if someone has other political views from mine, as long as they don't use personal attacks or sink to belittling people.
    That is despicable, it doesn't matter from which side of the isle it comes.
    I have risen in unpopularity since this morning, but I don't care anymore, I am sick of people who think that they are superior, yet they sink lower than slime with their attacks.
    Thank you for your blog, it always leaves me with wonderment, sadness, joy, it is really wonderful to visit you here.
    I don't always comment, but your blog is sweet beauty.


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