“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

8.10.2008

Holding time close


There was a time in her life when things remained in their proper places.  Doorways stayed put - they didn't slide around the house, appearing in different spots on different days, like some trickster door from Alice in Wonderland.  The front door was always at the front of the house.  Hallways kept still, the living room was always the red room.  The cats didn't continually change their names & keep the new ones secret, making her guess.  There was a time when books were treasures to be savored over long afternoons & into the evenings, when the characters didn't somehow become part of her real life, when phone calls were from friends she remembered.  There was that long-ago time, when she dated baseball players and smoked and visited Cairo & Moscow, when she threw parties for no reason at all.  There was that time.

But now is this  time.  The time of sneaky rooms, the time of walking around her house making sure they're where they're supposed to be, the time of staring out windows at flowers she can no longer name, the time of wondering aloud how the mail came to be placed on her kitchen table, the time of gathering herself to herself.  Of holding her cats closer than they'd like.  The time of anger at time itself.  Years go by - 94 years is a long time, but not enough, and she'd like more.  This is the time.  The time.

9 comments:

  1. But what a glorious time it has been and for that she should count her blessings! 94 is ALOT of years! Give her a kiss for me...

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  2. I hope I live to that glorious age!

    But reading this post gently reminds me to be present, and appreciate every moment I have, for time will pass by so quickly!

    xoxo

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  3. fantastic writing!!! i love this post! you create a perfect (if bewildering) atmosphere. just lovely. and 94 years, that's fantastic!

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  4. oh, this is so wonderfully written!
    a gentle reminder of the relentless passing of time...

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  5. To all - Thank you so much. It's so hard to watch someone just fade away. All you can do is all you can do. Be there when you can, listen when you can, hold a hand when you can. And always point the way to the front door.

    And keep smiling.

    :) Debi

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  6. oh it breaks my heart to read this. i know you are a mighty good neighbor and friend and she deserves that. oh it can't be good at all to feel this way. confused and lost. i don't think 94 years old is enough to compensate for the final years of confusion. it just is so unfair to have lost your sense of self after all that. it makes me cry to think that she can't hold onto her own history anymore. you are such a dear, sweet 'girl' for showing her to the door. and smiling is a good thing. i am glad that bob the cat or whatever his name turned out to be chose her!
    you are a dear!

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  7. Oh, this makes me sad. But at least she had some very exciting and special years before these last ones.

    Bless her heart. I would love to give her a hug.

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  8. Tango - She's had a terrific life. A wonderful woman. Robert my neighbor calls her God because she's been around so long & seen so much & has so much wisdom. It's just a hard time because we want her back to the way she was. But the Universe marches on. Nothing stands still.

    She'd give you a hug back. And hand you a gin & tonic & invite you to sit a while. She is VERY BIG on having a party, even if it's only 2 or 3 people.

    Thanks for the visit HERE.
    :) Debi

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come. sit under the emma tree & let's talk. i have cookies . . .