“Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.” ~ J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

3.03.2008

Beauty, Joy & Maui Rainwater


I wanted, wanted, wanted so badly  to delete Saturday's post because it just felt so silly & so hokey  & I was truly embarrassed to really  feel that way & let others know.  But ohmygod, it is so  the truth.  The right colors can just change my mood.  When my father died, I painted one wall in my living room over & over & over,  looking for that elusive color of calm, just knowing that if I got the color right, my grief would ease.  I agonize  over my paintings - looking for that same elusive color, that luminous glow Marilyn Monroe had in black & white photos.  I dream of blue flowers.

And it's springtime, despite the possible snow flurries we may get tonight.  Is it the season that makes this need for beauty & joy so strong?  I cannot seem to shake this pink thing - I looked for pink flowers yesterday, but couldn't find that perfect soft baby girl pink I wanted & I came this  close to buying the sweetest  little bikini all covered with cherries & pink flowers.  I looked for pink t-shirts.  I bought a pink smoothie  for lunch!

I finally came home & made new curtains for my bathroom - plain white cotton (again!), but with 2 layers of fabric not sewn to each other, so that they would flutter in the breeze in just that right way  that will make me smile.  Am I the only one who misses sheets hanging on the line in the backyard & the way they'd move in the wind?  (Of course, they had to be beautiful  sheets!)  And the lovely, lovely Katie brought me some gorgeous jade soaprock & told me stories of the birthday party she'd been to, which included gifts of Maui Rainwater & a trip to France, and an apricot/mango cake (which painted quite a luscious picture in my mind).

Second-hand beauty, but beauty nonetheless.

1 comment:

  1. uh oh... i swear i came to this post after i commented on yesterdays and i'm sorry but i read the whole thing :0 and i thought "oh shit!" because there i was admitting to similar desires/envies and here you were one day later feeling embarrassed. no..no..no! you are not the only one who misses clothes lines and i want to make curtains that flutter out my window :) and your dad... i'm sorry about your dad. i have heard you say before that you miss him :(
    xo

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